My name is Charlotte. My people tell me that I’m a shepherd mix and that I’m 14 years old. They’re both nice, and I insist on sleeping in their bed.
My mom and I were puppies together, but then she got older and went away to college and I wouldn’t see her for long periods of time. I hated those long periods of time because I firmly believe that packs should stick together. Fortunately, she came back eventually and stayed for good, and not long after that, she introduced Dad to our pack. I didn’t like him at first (and let my mom know about my opinions loudly and vociferously), but he took me on walks and gave me cookies and I got used to his smell, and then he was okay.
I find some of the things my parents do to be totally inscrutable (why do they leave the cover down on the big porcelain water bowl?), so I’m not sure why my dad asked me to write and tell you guys about my life. But he said he’d give me a cookie for my trouble, and I’m a sucker for cookies, so here goes.
Most days I sleep in until my mom wakes me up for my first walk of the day. Then she leaves for a long time, but it’s not as sad as college because my dad stays with me. He spends most of his time in front of the glowy box in his office, but when I get hungry he gives me more food, and when I get thirsty he refills my water bowl. I take him outside on walks sometimes when he gets tired or he looks like he’s angry with the glowy box, and sometimes we play with my ball or my dragon. It’s pretty fun. He didn’t used to spend as much time with me because he left all day like Mom does now, but something changed a while back.
I’m just a 14-year-old shepherd mix (or so I’m told), so I don’t grasp all the nuances that Dad has tried to explain to me, but I think it has something to do with the glowy box he says he can video conference on. Sometimes he talks to other people on it, which I think is very interesting, but not as interesting as a good nap is. He says he couldn’t stay at home with me without the glowy box, and it would be really sad if he couldn’t stay at home with me—like college all over again. I’m really glad that he’s got the glowy box that he can video conference on, because this way we can go on walks together and bark at other dogs together and sniff at stuff we find in the yard. I think I can say with 100% certainty—which is the same amount of certainty with which I can say that cats are evil and scratches behind the ear are fantastic—that the glowy box has brought Dad and me closer together. It’s a good glowy box, and if any of you have a dog like me, you should maybe think about getting one, too.
And now that that’s out of the way, I’m gonna go see about that cookie I was promised.